BloggerPushkin

ज़रा कभी उन पुराने खतों को खोलकर पढ़ना  जो इस वक़्त तुम्हारी अल्मारी की धुल में पड़े हैं।  तुम्हे तुम्हारी बेवफाई के सबूत वहीँ मिल जाएंगे  क्योकि वफ़ा करने वाले अक्सर सवाल नहीं किया करते।  जन्नत की हक़ीक़त भी मुझे तब पता चली  जब काफिर के बोलने का लहज़ा ही बदल गया  मानो ज़िन्दगी ने कभी मुलाक़ात ही नहीं करवाई थी  ये वक़्त तो बस रंजिशें करने में लगा हुआ था  कौन सी?? वो इसे भी नहीं पता था ।                            - Pushkin Channan

ज़रा सा उन लम्हों को समेट लूँ जो अब वापस नहीं आएँगे ज़रा उन लम्हों को रोक लूँ जो यादें दिल में छोड़ जाएंगे ज़रा कोशिश कर लूँ दोबारा से उन लम्हों को जीने की जो यादें बन जाएंगे ज़रा सा और जी लूँ ये ज़िन्दगी यादगार बनाने के लिए ज़रा फिर से शायरी कर लूँ काफिर की बेवफाई का सबूत इक्कठा करने के लिए ज़रा सा लापरवाह हो जाऊं अपनों और गैरों के बीच में फर्क जानने के लिए ज़रा सा वक़्त को रोक लूँ हसीन पल को आखरी बार जीने के लिए ज़रा बचपन की उन पुरानी गलियों में फिर से चक्कर लगा लूँ जहाँ कभी पानी में अपनी भी कश्ती चला करती थी यूँ ही ज़रा सा हर वो काम कर लूँ जिसे करने पर ख़ुशी मिला करती थी ये वक़्त न ठहरा था और न ही ठहरेगा वक़्त के साथ हालात और इंसान दोनों बदल जाते हैं और रहे जाती हैं तो सिर्फ यादें वो यादें जो किसी के चले जाने के बाद आती हैं......                         - Pushkin Channan

ना खाली कागज़ बचे, ना ही लिखने को शब्द बस ऐसे ही किसी तरह उसे याद कर लेता हूँ  हर वो कोशिश बेशुमार कर लेता हूँ  जिससे मेरी आवाज़ उस तक पहुँच जाए ।  बदल सी गई हैं ये हवाएं  बदल से गए हैं हम  बदल सा गया है वो सारा जहाँ  जिसे कभी हासिल करने की बात किया करते थे हम ।  काश ये वक़्त थम सा जाता   काश ये हवाएं रुक सी जाती  काश मैं भी वो पल जी लेता जो सपनो में कभी देखे थे मैंने  काश मुझ में सपनो को हक़ीक़त में बदलने की ताक़त होती !!!!! काश!!!!!!                                                     - Pushkin Channan

जब भी मेरी याद आएगी, उम्मीद करता हूँ के लौट आओगे तुम  जब भी तनहा महसूस करोगे उम्मीद करता हूँ के मुझे आवाज़ दोगे तुम जब भी सिसकियाँ लोगे उम्मीद करता हूँ मुझे याद करोगे तुम  जब भी अकेला महसूस करोगे उम्मीद करता हूँ मुझे आवाज़ दोगे तुम  जब भी खुशियां बांटोगे उम्मीद करता हूँ मुझे भी शामिल करोगे तुम  जब कभी उदास होगे उम्मीद करता हूँ दुःख ज़रूर बांटोगे तुम  जब भी मेरी याद आये तोह उम्मीद करता हूँ क लौट आओगे तुम!!!!                                    - Pushkin Channan

मंज़िलें खो सी गई हैं, रास्ते धुंधले से होते जा रहे हैं, गर्दिशें ऐसे मिल रहीं हैं जैसे सदियों से इंतज़ार में बैठी हों । उनसे मोहोब्बत जैसे बेशुमार हो गई है । ना  दरिया में हम बहते और ना वो दरिया काला पानी होता।                                            - Pushkin Channan

उस चेहरे को कागज़ पर उतारने की कोशिश कर रहा था, जिसे मैंने कल रात ख्वाब में देखा था। ख्वाब था वो कोई हक़ीक़त नहीं जो कागज़ पर उतर जाती!! लोग अक्सर ख्वाबों को हक़ीक़त से जोड़ने की गुस्ताखी कर बैठते हैं । तजुर्बे की कमी के चलते ऐसा कर बैठते हैं ।                                  - Pushkin Channan

वो  समझाते रहे और हम समझते  रहे। वो यूँ ही गुनगुनाते रहे और हम उनके कायल हो गये। वो चलते रहे और हम भी साथ देने को चल पड़े। वो घायल हुए और हम दुआ क़ुबूल होने की गुहार लगाते रहे। वो शिकायतें करते रहे और हमारा घड़ा भरता गया। वो कस्मे खाते रहे और हम उन्हें तोड़ने की बात करते रहे। वो फांसले बनाते गए और हम समुद्र का किनारा हो गये। वो याद बन गए और हमारे दिल में समा गए। ये वक़्त बीत गया और वो यादें धुन्धुली हो गईं। ये वक़्त का ही  खेल था जिसने मिलाया और जुदा करवाया था ।                 काश ये वक़्त ठहर सा जाता.........

"One day, she decided that she was the most beautiful & so she carried out her life as if she was the most beautiful girl. She wore the colors that she really liked, she wore the make up that made her look pretty and it really helped her overcome the past. It didn't have anything to do with how the world perceived her. What counted was what she saw!! Her body was her temple, her home, and she decorated it nicely. She was her own artist and the world was her fandom."                         - Pushkin Channan 

Driving to the office today, I saw the rain drops hitting the ground. And then watching the droplets getting drowned. All together they made a sweet sound, But to me it looked like the tears coming out because someone somewhere greatly howled. That large whine came out due to the long ailing phase, And because of which she was completely dazed. She left behind her craze, That made her earn all the praise. Lying sick on the bed she thinks of her old, good & happy days. The only thing she could do now was - wait and pray for the betterment of the coming days, So that she is able to rock the world once again under the Fresh Morning Rays ......                                   - Pushkin Channan

"She talked about the magic. The miracle that was never going to happen. It was the beautiful fantasy that she dreamed of!!! The fantasy of travelling the world before settling down. The imagination of conquering the sky before someone else takes her. The artistry thinking of being the best. Her mental agility made the world her enemy,  because of which she could never conquer the crest. May she get whatever is the dream of hers and  be the best whatever field she chose to be in. Her loved ones always wished for her...."            -Pushkin Channan

Talk to me for one more time. Talk to me before my bed time. Talk to me before I commit another crime. Talk to me before it's war time. Talk to me before we get lost in the battle fields of Blenheim. Talk to me before you get busy with your favorite Disney characters on Anaheim. Talk to me for one more time before it takes another lifetime.                    - Pushkin Channan 

"I’m sorry. For the words I have never  spoken  and for the ones that I did. This isn’t your fault.  And it’s killing me. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. And that I know that this will mean  nothing to you. Because it’s too late. And I’m sorry."        - Pushkin Channan 

"She was the best thing  that ever happened to him.  She broke him, shattered him,  tortured his heart & soul,  left him alone and  most importantly changed his perspective about LOVE.  But she taught him to be strong, to pull together,  to forgive & to forget, to be invincible, and to 'LOVE HIMSELF'                                         - PUSHKIN CHANNAN           

"Its been months now, And they are still not over each other. But they both were happy as they were walking on different paths. They both will never get another first love. For the reason they both will be each other's first.                      - Pushkin Channan

"Isn't it weird How can you go from being everything to nothing in the blink of ignored text messages. You can talk for months or even years, about everything & nothing. You can know more about each other than anyone has ever known before. And then one day One of us decides it is enough And then stop replying, And then stop trying, And it's just over. No words to break it off. No heartfelt goodbye's. Just a bunch of broken promises and the stories that will never find their endings. It's just cut off and we go on with our lives. AND NEVER BOTHERED TO LOOK BACK."

"What if we never meet again??       We will be strangers by choice!! What if we never talk again??       We will forget the magic of each others voice!! What if don't recognize voice??        We would ask who's this!! What if we refuse to recognize each other by face??       We will go back to the history, I guess!! What if we forget each other??       May be I will have no good friend!! What if you refuse to accept my letter??       May be that will go in the garbage!! What if we by chance attend the same function??       May be will cross over as if we never knew each other!!" "And may be one day we both will see each other turning into definite strangers but by choice. The only common thing left would the MEMORIES."

"I remember the day when I first came here to work, On an alien land & people looking as if they are from another world. It took me time to adjust here. For the reason I could not see anyone like-minded anywhere. I felt something was missing near me. A team that was like a family to me. A team that was supportive enough. A team that that could make learn new things. A team that could make a perfect professional, A team that could make a perfect individual. And one Day, may be by Luck By Chance, I got the golden opportunity to work with you. And of course the team i have been part of for such a long time. We all smiled together, we all shared light moments together. I was fortunate enough to have your back during my tough times. Your guidance & counselling that used to come in handy when i was in any problem. The caring nature of yours gave me another family, another home. #BusinessCentre. You all made my journey smooth & full of learning. And lastly...

ये वक़्त यूँ ही गुज़र जाएगा और इंतज़ार करता एक मुसाफिर रह जाएगा। इंतज़ार उस सुन्हेरे पल का जो उसको आखरी बार दो वक़्त का सुकून दे जाएगा, एक और बार उसके चेहरे पर मुस्कान छोड़ जाएगा। मुस्कान वो जो शायद फिर कभी ना मिले, क्योंकि ये वक़्त यूँ ही गुज़र जाएगा। तरस जाएंगी ये निगाहें उसकी एक झलक को, और वो फिर लौट के कभी ना आएगा। फिर तुम भी सोचना के काश रोक लिया होता उसे तो आज मेरे जाने के बाद जान ना निकलती। और तुम अपनी कसम देकर मुझे जाने से ना रोकती, अपनी बात मनवाने के लिए कोई ज़िद ना करती। ये वक़्त भी गुज़र जाएगा....                - Pushkin Channan

"This morning I told myself not cry when thought comes to my mind, I told myself to control the emotions. I told myself not to get way too emotional. I told myself if you have an impact, you will be called. I told myself if someone had to discontinue talks with me, they will. I told myself if anything has to happen, it will happen. I told myself if someone stays, its because they decided to and not because I'm worth. I told myself if someone boycotts me, its because of my insane nature. So now, I have promised myself to be myself, not to hurt anyone. I have promised myself not hurt anyone. I have promised myself not to be part of anyone's happiness. I have promised myself not to share my sorrows. I have promised myself not to get engaged in social gatherings!!       After all it all hurts.                            - Pushkin Channan

In the game of pictionary, I was made to draw a portrait of yours. I picked up the paint and tried to do so. Seeing my hand shivering, I just planned to step down because the perfection cannot be drawn; it can only be felt. And that feeling to me seemed lost somewhere in the air due to the long gaps because of the sickness prevailing in your body.

मुझसे मेरी तन्हाई अक्सर ये सवाल किया करती है क्या ज़िन्दगी ऐसे ही उस दोस्त की याद में काट दी जाएगी? क्या तू रोज़ इसी तरह उदासी भरे गाने गुनगुनाता रहेगा, क्या तू फिर वैसी हसी नहीं देख पाएगा, क्या तू फिर वैसा हो जाएगा??? क्या.....

I still search     for you in the crowd,     in empty fields     and soaring clouds. In city lights     and passing cars,     on winding roads     and wishing stars. I wonder where     you could be now,     for long I have not      said your name aloud. And longer since     I called you mine-     time has passed      for You & Me. But I have learnt     To live without,     I do not mind-     I still love you anyhow.        

"Walking in the rain, I saw myself getting used to it The tears from my eyes getting mixed with rain and faking the smile. Making people around me think everything is fine. And not lying to you at least; for the reason you my secrets And if not secrets; at least you know me better than the world out here."                        - Pushkin Channan

She asked me, How do I have so much to write about her?? The answer was simple- I could write ceaselessly about My passion My Aspirations My Values The Beautiful The Good  The Evil She was all of these and more. And yet, I gave a passive smile and shrugged if only she knew what it was to be-friend a person like me...         -Pushkin Channan

“You were the one who made me smile. You were the one who made me cry. You were the one who hold my hand when in problem. You were the one who never let me down. You were the one who said, ‘don't worry, I'm here’. You were the one who gave me goosebumps. You were the one responsible for the best in me. You were the one whom I could trust blindly on the alien land. You were the one who left tears in my eyes. And today…. I miss that ‘ONLY ONE’ around me. The reason being you are sick. The reason being you got busy with your life. The reason being you will get married any time soon. The reason being I have got no friend around me. The reason being the fear of you forgetting me. The reason being we again turning into strangers.  The reason being standing in the same coffee outlet but on opposite side. The reason being the thread of our friendship getting loose. The reason being you are my BEST FRIEND. Pushkin Channan

Before the last day of mine in the town, Before the last talk between you and me, Before the last hour of togetherness, Before the last coffee in CCD, Before the last anger of yours, Before the last hug of ours, Before the last drive with you, Before the last shopping accompanying you, Before the last supper, Before the last show of yours, Before the last smile of ours together, Before you become someone else's, Before you once again get busy with your own turmoil of life Before you once again start acting like a stranger, Before you start undoing all those things that used to make me smile, All I want is… To live one more day. To talk to to you for an extra hour. To be with you for one more time for that precious smile. To have a cup of coffee with you and to listen to all your crazy talks till that last sip. To listen to angry voice when I didn't listen to you. To get the hug from you to realize the motherly care that you carried. To drive your car ...

The reason why I sleep early these days is because the more I keep myself awake the more expectations I have from the world, which I know will never be fulfilled. So just to keep my self away from all this vague, I sleep early. At the end 'Expectations Hurt'.

"The reason why I like staying up late at night is because between 0100 & 0500 hours the world around me sleeps. And that's the the time when expectations are least. I can actually stare at wall, scold it, beat it and still be assured of no consequence, as it will never hit me back. That moment of peace and calmness is actually lovable."           -Pushkin Channan

I wanted to see as my best friend, but I saw you turning into a stranger. I knew this was happening and I couldn't do anything either. Enjoying coffee while sitting in his big cabin near the sea on top of the building, when people doubted his capability and the one who had shown trust in him was not anywhere near to him.