BloggerPushkin

what if?? i questioned self.. gets delivered a letter; to the same address filled with love and affection and I'm sure it won't make distraction. the time, I saw, shedding like feathers changing seasons with annually repeated weather trying to remember the face unseen since last December. Dearest Sister, i trust your eyes reading the inked the pages of my diary i wrote being on life's brink. the colored whites you would keep close confined to self and not to the world being taken out on the marked calendar dates when the years would roll over time and again." Pushkin Channan

"And on the life's last leg lying on the bed the room where docs try their level best curing the last stage and i know it wont help. the room covered by the whites proving no blessings in disguise. the fam of five that just arrived to hear the last voice. those teary eyes wishing to see me come alive to hear, 'he survived'. the life full of fights I say, 'I apologize' for I couldn't gift those beautiful smiles. my failures my success to judge me the world was right. being cremated the ashes of my burnt body and those pyre won't lie...." - Pushkin Channan

we fight cold wars leaving the scars and the marks on the long left untouched shores. with the verbal battles; we looked much more at ease. not disturbing the heart that 'now' was calm and serene. the priorities keep us apart though i know we'll always be connected at heart. the same city the different routes. i will someday sit with closed eyes and would wait for the convoy to pass through!!! remembering the night you disappeared; and your not looking back i feared. the absence gifted in return was weird maybe i return years later with some typical odd beard. my fights these days are more sincere and real as they become one of the medium of survival."

"and then I'll travel a new destination the same nation to balance the equation adding to another year of separation. the same occupation similar situation not the chosen destination. a new population; in capital of meditation 100 hours of recreation not the vacation away from the city's levels of frustration my heart, though, will suffer a dislocation..."

"keep her cold don't let her lose the hope turning old she might forget what you told she's a pure gold a heart that you would behold. she would stand bold against all the odds a gift of God that got nurtured in a heavenly abode... the one who knows no hatred only love that see the hate being eradicated grown up seeing her since childhood the fights and the gifts that made the early days more wonderful grown up now!!! the quarlles need a nod for allow a piece of heart that went far though an assurance of it being there even if i become a 'STAR'."

Summers 2017. weekdays time see you at half of an hour of 17. the regular coffee place that smile on the face best friends meet with hugs they greet. the same table chosen and that display of the emotions. the same order placed some coffee; and the added scoop of ice cream. sharing the unshared that over the period went unspoken. an hour passed in a second time to go home the homey's waiting. a heartfelt sorry from the host of the party you came so far just for an hour. the next time we see we'll meet with more power and for an extra hour..."

"childhood game of seek and hide where i seeked you always used to hide. not being caught a matter of pride!! a satisfaction deep inside sharing moments making memories curiosity satisfied. we grew sharing the life keeping aside daily fights our 'lifelines'. we both matured; and it seemed in no time. the evening you turned bride set to kickoff a new lifestyle. my heart cried not fearing your goodbye; but the last look until next 'Hi' maybe years down the line. the talks vanished the meets became matter of 'surprise'. different nests i deny to share the secrets. living along painted bricks they looked as gigantic human beings.

"it were days my heart wanted to see you get the touch that went away with you the love that was taken away by you a gentle hug that made the life' issues run through the fights I would love to fight. the pending talks I would love to complete while we walk. our favorite cup of coffee though you'd have had enough let me end my, 730 days, drought. I'm scared to meet the unmet again for my emotionsg would fail this time to complain. Dear Twin, you grew up quick I still haunt in our left behind childhood Streets."

the summers said, while i was in my bed to sing the same song before the season is dead. before the color showed up red and the ears go deaf!!! in my head i couldn't ask for anything better than a best friend's address. the same street shop that got me my first coffee stop looked somewhere lost the space taken over by a tiny small stall in the same mall. the summers asking to complete the story ending 730 days spent as eerie. being apologetic for a long pending gathering over a cup of 'Coffee'

"since last night my heart wants to shop even it's a window shop at the favorite stop the first floor shop post the hours of job picking up the cloth not worrying the cost spending the time with the best partner in crime 'best friend'. the hour that could have been mine picking up the mugs filled with caffeine those coffee moments the clock warned could be stolen and those left compliments the half completed sentence the unasked movement the raised sentiment the heart left broken the kid inside left in isolation she goes leaving behind to be nurtured alone!!!"

"my extended apology. coming from minority, I crossed the territory against the policy adding a page to my own story. proving the mediocrity crossing the border that to me knew just the love and generosity. the drawn line of control i had no control of!! stepping into the domicile the walls that said welcome back home staying alone coming close i felt like my own touched by some known. dislikes about the visit don't be a saddist I promise to give back laughter and accept my moan."

"And some evenings I'll walk down the streets All alone Of the city that nurtured me Treating it's own Shadows to follow by On the boulevard That heard the loudest denial cry. Wait, Someone sent me a spy To take care Until I fly; and Not to lie, To Those Caring Eye(s) That would not bear Those never said 'heartfelt Goodbye's'. More to the night's conversations With the close of eyes Those sung lullaby And I revisit us for one more time And we Walk Down the Street For that Clock Time"

from that night to tonight I've fought fights all alone and that isn't right i pretend to be alright and it no where adds to my delight. the confessions I lie I'll regret until I die i made myself deny to speak the truths that often makes you cry, and if allowed i would buy the  will define The Answers!! In few year's time never say me 'goodbye' instead mark the date and celebrate the relation that was built for life!!! #bestfriends

few words inked on the blank. few emotions displayed that the heart felt. an open letter if delivered might tell our last get-together. August 26, a reason to celebrate This 15, I look forward to embrace. The fate, I pray, puts an end to year long holiday The celebrations, not through the champagne Just our favorite coffee date before you fly out for another long term break maybe to graduate the life's disciplines... Dear Sister, looks like yesterday; though it's been long gone and we have entered today putting on the time our faces might now show some ageing signs we last hugged when young the time says the next you meet both would be old enough. tell it to keep its needles away coz you are the reason why i would love to be a kid. Always!!"

...and you left. leaving behind the memories little asking me to stay as a kid and little the gossips duration that turned little the secrets shared were again little my talks small and little i know somewhere i was the victim Of the great distances that surprisingly were little reality bit and hit the hardest on the wounds that were deep though little i wish to say a 'Hi' again to start from where we last left a hug to the little that joy for the little meant a world to the little little?? none. an emotion portraying the heart that still kept nights awaken!!!"

absence bothers missing family members. dear sister, when everyone's home it's you who sits at distance miles apart and that's the biggest goof-up. i wait every single day to sit and live the left out childhood days. the eyes cry the tears don't get wiped its only the place that's swiped blessings in disguise your recorded voice that makes my heart rejoice we missed out on important celebrations your pre booked meets with your delegations. I sit calm with the chin between my palms I see passing the convoys hoping to see one that left one now night,,,,,"

"and to the rains I say take me away for the new hopes to be nestled without the delays. the world that's different the place that's little tolerant... the rains left without a note the absence asking to wait until the next shower roars the gaps being kissed, as the two sea shores..... those empty knocks by the winds at my door scared yet opened found some 'nobody' trying put down the knob. to me the rains say give us another day promise we'd come; and bless you with many best friend's days..... "

"we fight cold wars leaving the scars and the marks on the long left untouched shores. with the verbal battles; we looked much more at ease. not disturbing the heart that 'now' was calm and serene. the priorities keep us apart though i know we'll always be connected at heart. the same city  the different routes. i will someday sit with closed eyes and would wait for the convoy to pass through!!! remembering the night you disappeared; and your not looking back i feared. the absence gifted in return was weird maybe i return years later with some typical odd beard. my fights these days are more sincere and real as they become one of the medium of survival." - Pushkin Channan

and i ended my day with a riddle I landed on the bed of a hospital. the gathered fam's questionnaire my failure to answer those eager ears. their arrival without an invitation a feel of self assassination. the promises of being 'forever' were seemed getting replaced with 'never'. sorry!! those pair of eyes said standing in the corner seeing me being 'laid down' to rest. the voice i, too, felt will be missed sorry for the promises I made, as i knew my missing would be kissed. a final thank to the pair of eyes to make self able to see me for the one last time. wish i could have stayed more wish i could have kept the statement that i swore wish i could have met you before in the world that seemed biting  i wish could have made the existence much more EXCITING. - Pushkin Channan

Hair pulling We shouting You slapping Our fighting Love pouring Amazing feeling. You try killing I manage hiding The chase made Even more exciting. Our colliding While me escaping A nice gaming You complaining I laughing We made the best of siblings. Your absconding Calls not responded I fearing Your well being. In the years time Faces fading A social media thing Picture recognising Oops!! The foremost thing Not regretting The own people's ageing Maybe catching up At some coffee The one fine Evening." - Pushkin Channan

Dear Sister, "being missed. yes you are!! and a critic to the distance that put us to war. being each other's shore we sit apart as never before and i miss you to the core may be even more. the face since my childhood  that I've adored the empty mirror of your dressing table now give huge roar. heart cries that i ignore the knocks not being responded to at your room' doors. you left with a big convoy and i let you perish in a fraction of a second to let you enjoy your new life. you said 'goodbye' leaving behind those pair of eyes to 'cry'." - Pushkin Channan

"A story of a Santro with DL number 9508. Driven in a city that had the roads not too straight The heart got nurtured through souls that it found great. Those certain coffee dates Always asked me for some wait. Reason, The tyres used to get stuck at the interstate. Always sorry for being late And the recovery done with some favorite coffee shakes. Despite the fights, memories were made The promises to self of not talking again saw being betray'd. Those crazy short drives in the hatchback Always made a minor escape from major scratch. Driven as if the route was a racetrack Never seeing the vehicle coming from the back. The God was the savior, as always We both being saved by the traffic that got us back home late. Under the moon rays Thanking for the beautiful ending of the day. The diaries that got inked The pictures that got clicked Became the memories forever to be kept. A vote of thanks 9508 hatchback  i made the memories sharing the space that other

"और फिर यूँ ही रात में मेरी ज़िद होती है कुछ देर और लफ्ज़ बयान करने की बात होती है वो दूर थी फिर भी बात मानती है बहन है इसलिए वक़्त गुज़ारती है। आज के रिश्ते कहाँ इतने सच्चे हैं इसलिए हम अपने भाई-बहन के साथ ही अच्छे हैं ज़िन्दगी की दौड़ में अपने अपनों को भूल जाए करते हैं बस कुछ ही तो हैं रिश्ते जो दिल से निभा करते हैं। चली जाती है एक दिन वो अपना घर बसाने को छोड़ जाती है पीछे यादें ताज़ा रखने को कमरे की खाली दीवारें भी अब खामोश रहा करती हैं बहन तेरे कदमो की आहट आज भी मेरे कानों में गूँजा करती है वो अनकहे किस्से आज भी मेरी ज़ुबाँ पर आते हैं तू सामने होती है तो ना जाने कहाँ वो खो जाते हैं। आज कल दिल खामोश रहता है तेरा हाल चाल जानने को बेताब रहता है ना जाने कहाँ छुट गया बचपन अपना तुझसे फिरसे झगड़ने को दिल है।" - Pushkin Channan

"के कंकर को टटोलते हुए मैं पहुँचा अपनी गली चाँद के नीचे भी मुझे यादें इकठ्ठा करना एक साज़िश सी लगी यूँ तो सूरज के उजाले में ही मिल जाते कुछ बिछड़े अपने पर ना जाने क्यों आज वो रात मुझे अपनी सी लगी। वक़्त भी कुछ गुज़ार दिया यूँ ही मैंने अपनी गली में के गलती से कोई अपना आ जाए और ले चले मुझे सफर पे। वो महेंगी मोटर गाड़ी  साथ में अपनो की सवारी मिलती है अब शायद कहानियों में ऐसी यारी। वो बिन मतलब के झगड़े, वो बिन बात की खिंचाई और कभी यूँ ही जब होती थी बड़ों से पिटाई। बस यूँ ही अब कहते हैं के तेरी याद आई कुछ अधूरी कहानियों ने शायद आज उसकी याद दिलाई!!!" - Pushkin Channan

"कूछ यूँ इस कदर मुझे मिलने से कतराती है ऐ ज़िन्दगी ना जाने क्यों तुझसे ये इतना धबराती है?? कभी कभी मोड़ पर ये यूँ मुझसे टकराती है के बस!! यही है जो मेरा हाल चाल पुछ जाती है रातों को अक्सर हम मिला करते हैं बे-वक्त की मुलाकातें किताब के सफहे पर उतारा करते हैं ये तेरी स्याही है जो वजह से चला करती है बेवजह चलने को हम करिश्मा कहा करते हैं...." - Pushkin Channan

"वो आखरी शाम मेहेंगी मोटर में बैठ रवाना होते वक़्त दुआ सलाम क्या है जो बाकी रह गया था क्या था जो में शायद दे सकता था स्नेह, मोहब्बत, प्यार ना जाने क्या कुछ तो था जो बाकी था कुछ हसरतें थीं जो अधुरी थीं कुछ नगमे थे जो अनसुने थे बना के दिल पत्थर का रुख्सत किया उसको ना जाने कैसा होगा टुकड़ा मेरे दिल का वो कभी जो कह दी जाती थीं गुस्से में बात आज हक़ीक़त बयान करने में भी एक डर लगता है कुछ यूँ ही मुझे अब खुद से भी डर लगता है दबा कर अंदर दिल की बात मैं ज़हर कर लेता हूँ मिल जाए अगर तो दवा समझ कर सुना देता हूँ!!!" - Pushkin Channan

"फिर वही रात थी कुछ गुम सी फिर वही सफर था कुछ अकेलेपन का मैं चला कुछ दूर अपने साये से डरा डरा लड़खड़ाते कदमों की आहट मेरे ही कानों में आन गिरी!! मंज़र कुछ यूँ अंधेरे का मेरे सामने था कुंडली लगाए बस कोई अपना वहाँ से गुजरे मैं भी था ऐसी ही आस लगाए!! इस बेगाने शहर में ना जाने क्यों अक्सर लोग मिला करते हैं कुछ अपने ही खो जाते हैं गैरों को अपना करते करते....."

tum mehelon mein jiya krte ho hm sadko pr palaa krte hain bs kuch yun hi upar aur neeche ki hm tum zindagi jiya krte hain khwahishon ka katl hamne hote dekha hai tumhare sapno ko pura hamne hote dekha hai mehelon ko hamne bhi bahar se khoob parkha hai unme panaah lene ka hamne bhi sapna dekha hai kuch yun nahi hoti muqammal zindagi kuch lamho ko bhoolna padta hai kuch apno chhodna padta hai apne khud k ghonsle se bahar nikalna padta hai gair ko apna aur apno ko gair kehena padta hai zindagi likh deti hai har mod pr nayi daastan uc pr chalna bhi kahan sbko gawara padta hai kuch yun hi bhool jaate hain kuch zabardasti bhulaaye jaate hain zindagi hai koi kahaani nahi kisse puraane hote hi naye jud jaate hain!!! - Pushkin Channan

" अपनों की कहानि है... भुलाए गए कुछ रिश्तों की कुछ बाकी निशानी है निकल गए जो मन्जिल की ओर 'वो' उन्हें कुछ अधूरी दास्तां सुनानी है। अपनी दुनिया जो छोड़ आए वो उनकी याद 'उनको' दिलानी है थम गए जो पल किसी के जाने से जरा सा कुछ देर मिल कर उनमें भी तो जान लानी है!!! रिश्ते 'शायद' जो पराए कर आए उनके 'आज' भी सगे होने की 'उनको' बात बतानी है। वक्त की चादर ओढ़े ना जाने कहाँ कदम बढ़ाए जा रहे है नकाप ओढै चेहरे पर 'दो' ना जाने 'वो' किधर कि ओर बढ़ रहे हैं...." - Pushkin Channan

"Beete saal ki kahaaani hai Kuch meri zubaani hai Zindagi ki halchal se bhari Shahar k dhool se door ki ek kahaaani hai. Kuch yun har roz ka ladna jhagadna tha Kuch yun ek doosre ka manana tha Derr saver kuch yun hi baaton ka hona tha beeti raat dil ki baat ka zubaan pr aana hota tha. kuch yun zindagi ne jeena sikha diya umar k saath sapno ka samjhota krna sikha diya kahan hoti hain ab wo roz ki baat-cheet umar kya hui insaan khud mein simat kr rehe gaya"  - Pushkin Channan